Journey Through Dementia

Journey Through Dementia

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

A note from Jeri

I had a long chat with Grandma today.  Since you're talking to therapists about her, I thought you'd like to hear about it.  It was unlike any conversation I've ever had.

It started with the usual mindless chitchat, and then a question she asks me a lot: "do you have a boyfriend?" and my stock reply is "it's worse than that, I'm married."  Usually that leads to me gently reminding her who Phil is, or not, and us joking about it all, and then she drops it and asks me what I've been up to lately.

But not today.  Instead I got "What??? You're MARRIED?" And then 15 minutes of her going on an on about how she couldn't believe I got married and didn't tell her, and how hurt she was, and how she might not be able to forgive me, her favorite grandchild, how could I do this to her, on and on for FIFTEEN MINUTES.  I didn't try to correct her; I never do.  I just played along.  But I started to really worry that this new thing was permanent, that now I've hurt her and we will never be the same again.  I said a lot of "I thought I told you, maybe you never got the invitation I sent" kind of things.  It was friendly and joking by the end.  But what surprised me was how she did not let it go for so long.  There was never that moment when the conversation stops and she starts over, like there usually is.  And she did not once ask when she was going to see me.  

So that was interesting.  I hope she's okay.  It's sad that this very lucid conversation would make me worry.

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