I went back to Atria, where I found my mother sitting by the dining room and sat with her. I wanted to get coffee, but you can't GET coffee in the damn place any more. Forget about a cookie or something like that. I discovered that you also can't visit with my mother in the alcove there, especially on bad memory days, which today was. When we are in her apartment, she spends an inordinate amount of time talking about the beautiful flowers in her apartment and the leaves on the trees outside the window. With those two topics not possible, we had nothing to talk about at all. I only stayed 15 minutes and then left. The good thing is that she has no concept of time, so she had no idea that I stayed such a short time.
If she would ever...just once...not ask me who the cute little girls are on the back of my phone, I would be so happy, but it's like another knife in my heart every time to know that she has no awareness that she has great grandchildren, or that she has ever seen them, or has any interest in them or emotional connection to them.