Journey Through Dementia

Journey Through Dementia

Sunday, October 5, 2014


My mother called and asked me to come over, that she had "some things to talk with me about."  I wondered all the way over what she perceived I'd done wrong, or what she could possibly want.

Turns out she's been having anxiety attacks for the last 2 days (I saw her on Friday).  She can't stop shaking.  Gets up and doesn't know where she is what she's supposed to be doing. She wanted me to fix her, but obviously she needs some kind of mild sedative, and definitely needs to consult a doctor.  We talked a lot and she agreed.  I called Kaiser in front of her and made the appointment (which she doesn't remember my doing, but still agrees to go).  I tried to get her laughing by laughing when she tried to pull the sleeves of her shirt down to cover the couple of old age spots she had and said everyone will think she's old.  I told her she tells everyone her age and everyone KNOWS she's old.

I got the bright idea to fix her a vodka tonic, which I think was a good idea.  Then I said I'd stay for dinner and then changed to taking her out to dinner.  I suggested that she hadn't had Chinese food in awhile.  My god she had FOUR helpings of chow mein.  I haven't seen her eat that much in months.  I think she was OK when we dropped her off but I will be curious to hear what the doctor has to say. 

I told her I can't imagine how terrifying it must be to be HER and talked openly about the worsening memory loss.  I have never yet used the "D" word with her.  I don't know if she could handle it.

This is not a good time for this, with us being ready to go to France (in 2 weeks).  I'm going to have to count on Ned to keep tabs on her while we're gone.  But I'm waiting until after we see the doctor before talking to him about it.

The nice thing is that as soon as the plane lifts off, I have no choice but to leave it all behind.

But a part of me is beginning to feel like this is a "bad idea" trip!

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