Journey Through Dementia

Journey Through Dementia

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

OUR Journey

I decided to make this OUR journal through dementia, because I feel as if I am at the edges of the start of dementia myself.  This way I can trace my own progress (hopefully slow!) as well as my mother's (also hopefully slow).

Yesterday was my birthday and we met Ned and Marta at Atria for lunch.  My mother wasn't sure whose birthday it was, all of the time (she did give me a check for a gift but later asked me whose birthday we were celebrating). it was a very nice day because I could spend a couple of hours with her without the usual awkward silences.  In watching her interaction with all of us, I realized why our times are so awkward.  It's because she has given up on everything, so she not only has no interest in anything, but if you talk about something she doesn't understand, she gets angry.  She used to have intellectual curiosity and wanted to know about things so she would have something to talk with her grandchildren about, but now when Ned and I talk TV or computers (or cell phones) (as we usually do), she is irritated because she doesn't understand what we are talking about. But if you try to draw her into a conversation about anything she says "so what is exciting in your life" or "what exciting thing do you have planned for the rest of the day."

I would LOVE to share my life with her, but so much of it involves technology that even if I try to describe my day in the most simple terms, the minute she hears anything having to do with a computer, she totally shuts down. And if I try to talk about her history, she waves it away saying it was so long ago she can't remember anything.  It's very frustrating.

But as for ME last night, we went out to a Japanese restaurant for dinner.  I ordered tempura.  Later, I could not remember the word "tempura" to save my soul and even after I looked it up two minutes later I had lost it again.  This happens frequently.  Yesterday, when I was setting up this blog, I went to my journal, found a passage I wanted to move over to here, took note of the date and by the time I had switched to this screen, I had forgotten the date and had to go back and find it again . Every. Single. Time!!!!!

I said something to Walt last night about already noticing symptoms and he said "Yes, I know."  We got distracted and I never did ask him what he meant by that.  But I figure if this is a "dementia journey," I might as well add things about myself so I can see my own progress as time passes.

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