Journey Through Dementia

Journey Through Dementia

Sunday, September 18, 2016

Best Laid plans

We were gong to a wedding reception in San Francisco.  I had been looking forward to it for weeks.  We stopped by Atria on the way out of town to drop off a new telephone.  Her telephone has stopped working.  From the minute we walked in the door, I knew, with a sinking heart, that I would not be going to the party.  She was in great pain.

She was practically in tears.  She also wasn't dressed and I got her to put on her slacks, since Walt was walking around.  She was so incredibly pathetic, I would have lived with great guilt if I left her there and went off to party, so I sent Walt to the party (so he could deliver my card) and I told him that he could pick me up on the way home.

(I figured I could at least watch the Emmys live, but then discovered her TV is not working.  I have put in a work order to fix it, but that won't be until next week.)

I gave her a couple of Aleve, but I know that doesn't do anything for her pain, and I fixed a cold compress, but she didn't want to wear it because it was ... well... cold.  Her doctor had sent me a message on Friday.  She was  going to try Norco for her but her note said "sorry read message late was very busy to see patient, so can not send Norco prescription "  I don't know if this means she has decided not to give her a pain medication or if she means that she was too busy to help with her pain on Friday and she would have to wait until Monday.  (English is not her first language and she doesn't communicate well at ALL in writing.)  I sat down and wrote to my gynecologist to ask for suggestions of someone who is a good gerontologist that I could switch my mother to.  She's going to refer me to someone who can help me make that decision.

She took a nap for an hour or so and I read but then she was awake again and pacing and trying to find a way to help her pain.  

The afternoon was horrible.  She fainted once, and was extremely restless, moving from chair to couch, sitting on one butt cheek, then another, crying out in pain and wailing "What can I doIt hurts so much!"  I asked her again about the cold compress and she got that "I'm not interested" look and told me to "leave it in the refrigerator and if she thought she would need it, she'd get it."  She also has a new trick...when you suggest she do something to help herself, she tells you how pretty you look, or how nice your shoes are...anything to shift the topic of conversation.

Her Atria helper came to take her to dinner but she could barely walk across the room, so we decided on a carry-in dinner.  I never got anything, but I did find out that the fainting episode that sent her to the ER happened in the dining room.  She has her EEG on Thursday.

When the pain was at its worst I asked her again to try the cold compress.  She reluctantly agreed and I handed it to her and told her to put it where it hurts.  "Where?" she asked.  "On your BODY," I replied.  This is what she did.

I told her it was supposed to go on her hip, where the pain was.  She put it there but got up every minute or so to walk around and told me she couldn't use it because it was cold and uncomfortable.

She had moved to the couch and I was telling her she was going to the doctor on Thursday for her EEG.  "Why?" she asked.  I said "To see if they can figure out why you are passing out," and I also said she would have lab tests and an x-ray to see if they could find anything that would help them treat her pain.

"Pain?" she asked.  "What pain?"  I said "aren't you in pain right now?" and she looked at me like I was stupid an said no, testing her arms, reaching over to feel her legs.  No pain.  Five minutes later she was writhing in pain again  This is why it is almost impossible to get a doctor to listen to me!  The girl who was going to take her to dinner asked how she was and she straightened up, smiled broadly and aid "Oh, I'm just fine!"

By this time it was 7:30 and I expected Walt to arrive sometime after 8.  I had answered every usual question at least 20 times, with one new one added.  I had given her a pair of slacks she didn't recognize and had to tell her over an over again that she bought them at Hodge Podge several years ago and I had found them in her closet.  She said she'd never seen them before (I fully expect them to be thrown out when she takes them off)

She noticed the new phone several times and is NOT happy with it.  It will have to be moved, she says, because the telephone doesn't go there, there has never been a phone there (though we removed a phone from that very spot when we put the new one in)

Anyway, she was starting to get sleepy and if I stayed another hour, I was going to go stark raving mad, so I kissed her, told her to go to bed and left.

Half an hour after I got to the lobby I got a call from Walt saying he was stuck in traffic and it would be another hour before he got to Davis.

Thank goodness for my Kindle.

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