Journey Through Dementia

Journey Through Dementia

Sunday, January 10, 2016

Dinner with Ned

We drove directly from Sacramento to Atria, where we were meeting Ned and Marta to have dinner with my mother and hear about Ned & Marta's Jamaica experiences that did NOT make it to his Facebook journal.  I called her on the way to the show to tell her we were coming, but that didn't help.  She was not in her apartment when Ned and Marta got there and I found all of them sitting in the lobby.  

It was clear she was disoriented and not with it.  At one point she asked us to all stop talking for a minute so she could collect herself.  She asked frequently where her purse was (she never takes it to the dining room) and asked who was going to pay for the meal.  Ned dominated the conversation and she would interrupt him to talk about his grey hair.

When we returned to the apartment, the jacket she had worn to the doctors twice last week was hanging over a chair and she asked if we knew whose it was.  When I told her it was hers and that she had just worn it two days ago, she got angry and said she had never seen it in her life.  I whisked it away and hung it up in her closet, but I won't be surprised if it is gone the next time she has to wear something warm to go outside.

While we visited a bit before leaving, she zoned out completely, read the newspaper and put nail polish on her nails and never so much as looked up at any of us. I wish there were a way to prepare her for guests, but even if you tell her 15 minutes ahead of time, she has forgotten by the time they get there and is flustered, confused, and disoriented.

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