She is wonderful at covering up her dementia. My cousin Kathy's daughter Karen had a nice visit with my mother yesterday and wrote this on Facebook:
(She did, however, when prodded, remember Cousins Day)
But she has all sorts of tricks to cover and to make people think (a) she knows them, and (b) she is following what they are talking to her about. I know there are people in the family who get angry with me for talking about her dementia because it's perfectly clear to them that she's not nearly as bad as I make her out to be. I invite them to spend a month with her! Or even a few days!
I've watched her have a lovely conversation with people on the phone and when she hangs up and I ask her who it was, she has no idea, but she can hold up her end of the conversation and from listening to my end of the chat, I'm sure nobody has a clue she doesn't know who she is talking to.
I made the mistake of trying to make a joke today. She was saying how frustrating it is not to remember stuff, and not to remember people. I asked her if she still remembers her family. She is forgetting what her siblings looked like and she says she can't remember a lot about her father but thinks she will always remember her mother (whom she sees in her dreams most nights).
She then asked if I ever forget people like that. I said that yes, I sometimes forget who my mother is. She did not get the joke at all, but sadly remembered that my aunt Marge was my mother. When I told her I was joking and that she was my mother, she then remembered that she is, but didn't understand that I was joking.
But I am thrilled that Karen visited her and have no doubt that at the time, though my mother had no idea who she was, that she enjoyed the visit. I won't let Karen know that she doesn't remember her or the visit. So few people visit her and I hate to harp on it, begging them to come.
Such a fun visit! She kept telling me she was 100 years old and I kept telling her we needed to call Willard Scott and get her face on a jelly jar--belly laughs all around. Love Aunt Chubbie!!I'm delighted that they had a good visit and that Karen came away feeling so good about it, but today my mother has no memory of the visit, does not know who Karen is, doesn't remember who Kathy is, and has never seen The Today Show or Willard Scott in her life, even before the dementia.
(She did, however, when prodded, remember Cousins Day)
But she has all sorts of tricks to cover and to make people think (a) she knows them, and (b) she is following what they are talking to her about. I know there are people in the family who get angry with me for talking about her dementia because it's perfectly clear to them that she's not nearly as bad as I make her out to be. I invite them to spend a month with her! Or even a few days!
I've watched her have a lovely conversation with people on the phone and when she hangs up and I ask her who it was, she has no idea, but she can hold up her end of the conversation and from listening to my end of the chat, I'm sure nobody has a clue she doesn't know who she is talking to.
I made the mistake of trying to make a joke today. She was saying how frustrating it is not to remember stuff, and not to remember people. I asked her if she still remembers her family. She is forgetting what her siblings looked like and she says she can't remember a lot about her father but thinks she will always remember her mother (whom she sees in her dreams most nights).
She then asked if I ever forget people like that. I said that yes, I sometimes forget who my mother is. She did not get the joke at all, but sadly remembered that my aunt Marge was my mother. When I told her I was joking and that she was my mother, she then remembered that she is, but didn't understand that I was joking.
But I am thrilled that Karen visited her and have no doubt that at the time, though my mother had no idea who she was, that she enjoyed the visit. I won't let Karen know that she doesn't remember her or the visit. So few people visit her and I hate to harp on it, begging them to come.
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